5 emails to santa
i'm picking i'm guessing I'm sure you're not the same santa claws my dad said he wrote to when he was a boy he said he had to write six months before christmas eve now that we use email i,m writing to you on christmas eve now these are the things i'm looking on getting tomorrow i hope they are all in stock my little sister emailed you last night don't waste your time just send her a I'm a cath doll my list
transformer warrior robert
lego swamp police car
die-cast red arrow hawk plane
drone blue or red
star-wars calactic empire figures
radio control rock-crawler
scooter dirt-rider
i hope I'm not confusing you with jesus but I want a sunny day no rain or snow because dad is getting a new BBQ i heard him order one from mitre10 not sure why he didn't order online direct from you he said the best present he got when he was my age was a cricket bat made of willow complete with wickets and a ball last birthday grandma gave me a cricket set made of yellow plastic please don't send me one of those i could be on the wrong track here and mixing you up with the stork but i over heard mum telling my auntie jessie she has jointed the club must be a cooking group for she has a bun in the oven jack my best friend who lives next door but one found himself a brother after the bun his mother had in the oven came out i hope i get a brother
ps please do not confuse me with that timmy landcaster who is 9 and lives in the blue house
tommy lancaster 8
1086 Coast Road
beatrice potter beach state
2nd email boxing day i believe an appropriate name for the day after opening presents not on any ones list of presents asked for thank you santa i see you never read my email if you did for some reason you totally ignored my requests what state of mind were you in last night what made you think i would appreciate socks trousers and a jacket yes i'm aware i'm starting a new school in the new year and i require a school uniform however don't consider clothing as a christmas present and when did i ask for a disney-land lunch box and why one with bamby on the lid the day was saved only by the fact i believe you were so busy that you had forwarded my list to uncle tom my mothers brother living in queenstown and thanks to him making an effort to properly understand the email of a 8 year old boy he told me it was only by chance after a glass of wine and several christmas tarts he saw the email among all the spam lucky for you santa people have uncles believe me santa next year i'm going to insist on conformation that you have received read and understood my requirements
ps please ensure a return address is added to all my presents next year this way you will be aware what not to send to any 8 year old boy
pps tomorrow i'm going to check out what timmy landcaster who is 9 and lives in the next street what he got for christmas if i find out he got anything that was on my list you will hear from my dads lawyer
tommy lancaster 8
1086 Coast Road
beatrice potter beach state
3rd email mums bun came out of the oven three days after christmas i'm feeling a little better although not that good as to forgive you jack suggested i should write and thank you because next year you could black list me and return my email unread dad gave me a box of his old dinky-toys to console me due to you messing up my order don't think in anyway you are in my good books if there was an alternative santa be assured i'll be sending my list to him
tommy lancaster 8
1086 Coast Road
beatrice potter beach state
4th email it has come to my attention someone in your organisation has applied a block on my emails they are being return return to sender i find this unacceptable and will have my dad write to the prime minister better still to your father please provide his email address
plus my friend jack on his facebook page has said some nasty things about you and has 1001 followers so there santa be scared scared jack was none to pleased to get a box of colouring pencils without a black pencil and a rubber he thinks you must have got them on the cheap
tommy lancaster 8
1086 Coast Road
beatrice potter beach state
5th email my sister who is only 7 tells me i should apologise so i'm sorry for going off at you for your poor selection of presents this year because some times things just don't work out as they should anyway i've just found out you don't really exist and like the tooth fairy you have been f ___ g with my head but i'm not going to tell my sister but as for me consider this the last email i'll send to you for now i'm dealing straight with my mum and dad
ps if you do know jesus thank him for my baby brother
pps here are a collection of apostrophes
colons commas dashes hyphens quotation marks semicolons slashes and … ‘ ‘ , , . . : : ; ; - / ( ) ? ! I've put them at the bottom knowing I should have use them but was not sure when and where so here they are now do with them as you wish see if I care
tommy lancaster now 9
1086 Coast Road
beatrice potter beach state
roll on my birthday - my list is three pages long